rant whine 'splain espouse: Definitely preferably

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Definitely preferably

Going through some old files, looking for something else. Instead I found a letter I wrote to a rather special girl who helped teach me one of the most important lessons of my life: It's worth it to take risks for love.

thursday, august 30, 1995 / 2:08am

You're not even out of town yet and I already miss you. I realized, sitting here, that I've been thinking of you about every six minutes for the past four hours. Hmm. Looking at your picture, the one that's sitting near my desk, is not helping matters. There you sit on the shelf, smiling out from behind the plastic frame. It makes me laugh out loud. And smile.

I'm listening to a punk show on KZSU Stanford (just thought I'd mention it for atmosphere). I bet you're curled up in bed right now, sleeping, while the singer of this punk band screams "Fuck you!" in my ear (!). Interesting: I just changed the station and now Trent Reznor is singing "I wanna fuck you like an animal..." Hmmm. Irony is everywhere, and I forgot to bring my irony board.

I'm actually supposed to be working, designing an ad for the Weekly, but I'm not. I bet you guessed that. I'd rather be on a rooftop. But maybe not in a dress this time. But preferably with you. Definitely preferably. Being on a rooftop alone could be alright, but being on a rooftop with you far outstrips just your average oh-I'm-on-a-rooftop-all-alone evening.

{ I'm not at home in the galaxy } In case you were wondering, that's the lyric that just played on the radio. I'll keep you apprised of the lyrics if you wish. Actually, I'll do it against your wishes too. Ha! I put your name in my phonebook tonight. And your phone number. But I realized that you'd be moving to Santa Cruz soon and that made me a little sad. Only a little. Well, okay, maybe more than just a little. But Santa Cruz would be a cool place to live, and I know you'll have a very fun time. You appear to have a fun time most places. Which is a good thing.

There's someone hyperventilating on the radio now. Don't ask. I bet you're going to have a great time on your backpacking trip. Now that I've thought/written that I've been reminded again that I miss you and that you're going to be gone for ten days. Damn. Oh well, at least I've got this picture. I'll be able to remember what you look like, but I'll have to try really hard to remember what you feel like. How soft your skin is. How your earlobes taste. How much I like holding you. How much I like the way your hair gets all tangled whenever you come anywhere near me. And the way you smile. Hmmmm. This is going to be a long ten days...